[BGR] Because God Reigns, Bring Glory in Relationships

Earlier in the year, I was present for relationships talks at both Student Life and Blue Sky. Since entering into a relationship a month ago, I've been listening to a few other talks from conferences and other churches. Here are some notes I hope will be helpful to you.

♥ MYTHBUSTERS ♥

1. It's better to try before you buy; you don't know if you're compatible till you live together. FALSE! 76% of Aussies live together outside of marriage. Only 2% of them are still living together after 10 years. Of the 46% who go on to marry, the break up rate is twice that of those who do not live together first before marriage.

2. You shouldn't get married until you are wealthy and can afford it. FALSE! The Lord will provide! If God brings you to it, God will bring you through it.

3. When you fall out of love, your relationship falls apart. FALSE! You *will* fall out of 'love'. Relationships take work and commitment - rekindle the romance! It's not just love that keeps a marriage going, it's marriage that keeps love going!

4. Women gain most from a marriage. FALSE! Men who get married grow up faster, have better health and live longer.

5. Men resist marriage more than women. This one is TRUE! The current median age for first-time marriage is 29.6 years (men) and 27.6 years (women).

6. Intelligence, beauty, character and money will bring success in relationship. FALSE! The key is to have CHRIST at the centre, commitment, communication & passion.

How do you have love that lasts a lifetime? Have God in it! The things that are of God last because He is everlasting! Work on Spiritual intimacy. Be quick to listen and slow to speak (James).


♥ DATING DANGERS ♥

1. Giving ourselves emotionally to the other person.
2. Giving ourselves physically to the other person.
3. Awakening desires before they can be righteously satisfied.
4. Investing too much into the other person.
5. Holding tightly to the relationship.
6. Taking ownership of the other person.
7. Fantasising about the other person or being unable to stop thinking about them.
8. Holding the other person on a pedestal or not seeing them as they are.

Relationships are good when God leads you to them. It is a gift from Him. Receive it with open hands - and keep them open for God to take back whenever He wants for He will give and take away as He pleases according to His good purpose for the good of those who love Him.

Dating / courtship can be a great time of purposefully and prayerfully getting to know someone and working on making the second most important decision in your life (after deciding to follow Christ!) of "could I, should I, do I want to marry this person? Is this what God has led me to do?"

In marriage, there is passionate love, companionship love and covenantal love that are like three separate petrol tanks that need to be filled to keep things running. It takes work and even passionate love needs refueling in marriage even if it seemed dangerously full before that. In courtship, pursue purity and focus on companionship love, on getting to know one another and on team-building. But until marriage, there is no covenant before God so where you are emotionally needs to stay in line with your level of commitment. Your relationship needs to be on the altar always.

You do not choose a life partner. It is not your decision to make because you are not capable of it! It is God's decision who He will team you up with. Read on...


♥ GOD'S BEST ♥

God is love and love gives. God just gives and gives. He wants to give to YOU. Do you trust Him to do that? To give you bountiful relationships with other people and with your life partner? Do you want God's best and not what you think is best for you?

When you're following God's plans, you can actually say to God "OK, God, what are you going to do about this situation/issue? You called me, you brought me here, I need you to show me the next steps." This is the way it should be. Not struggling and stressing trying to make our own way, but following God's plan in His peace by His provision.

The world will tell you that physical attraction is the most important thing... then you can see if there's the emotional and if at all possible some kind of spiritual connection. But God's ways are not the world's ways. He will ensure that you and your partner have a spiritual union (if it's not there, it's not for God). He will provide emotional connection so you can be compatible. Physical attraction may come later. If it is there from the start, guard your heart and preserve purity. Pursue holiness! Don't be about "how close can I get to the 'Don't-Have-Sex-Before-Marriage' line?" - be about "how God-honouring can this get?" Run from the line. Pursue purity. You have a sinful nature and cannot trust yourself. Have accountability partners.

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. - Romans 7:19

So keep seeking God. Keep pursuing Him. Surrender everything to Him. He knows you intimately well and will give you the desires of your heart according to His will for His good purpose in His perfect timing. PRAY. If you're serious about this, wrestle with God about wanting His blessing (like Jacob), about wanting to see Him work in your life.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. - Matthew 6:33

Listen. Trust. Obey.

Out of obedience, you will get awesome testimonies that will be used to touch others and bring God glory. God wants you to have an amazing story to tell, to have a life that is radically set apart. Will you trust Him to write it?

None Like You

God Almighty
Who is like You?
You reign above
You rain down love
You make us whole and new

Father of grace
Who is like You?
So wonderful
So powerful
So beautiful and true

Glorious Master
Who is like You?
Magnificent
Effulgent
Your splendour's in plain view

My Lord, dear Friend
Who is like You?
The song I sing
My everything
I know there's none like You

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Another response to the boy's Weekly Wanderings, written right after the Rice Regenerate Rally: GLORY!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? ... I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:35, 38-39

Wow... God's love is better than life (Psalm 63:3, Newsboys) and nothing at all can separate us from this love (above verse)! I was reminded of something I used to think to myself which should be even truer now and which I hope I can say and mean wholeheartedly. Why am I happy? Because the most precious thing I have can never be taken away from me. Even if all my money gets stolen, even if my house burns down, even if my friends and family die... God remains. My portion is Him and I'm more than blessed.

We were created to glorify God, to delight in Him, to be in a relationship with Him. Since we know that God loves us, what more could we want? What could top that? There is nothing in life as sweet as God's grace, nothing as precious as His blood, nothing as wonderful as His love, nothing anywhere near as beautiful as Him. Just to love God and to know that God loves us... isn't that the greatest thing? His love is better than life!

Here's a clip of John Piper fighting the 'prosperity gospel' which I think is where the quote "God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him" is from. Of course he's not saying that God wants us to have miserable lives just of suffering but that God is God and we need to praise Him in all circumstances, because He is God. And God is enough.

I pray you would see more and more of God's glory and encourage each other to continually surrender everything to Him, because His love is better than life.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." - Rev 1:8

For the good of those who love Him

My very significant other sends out an email to his friends and family each week, telling them about what God has shown and taught him that week. I have started replying to his Weekly Wanderings since we began courtshipping but thought I would also share it with you, minus our personal stuff, with the hope of encouraging you too.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified” – Romans 8:28-30 (NIV)

It's amazing and reassuring that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose. It doesn’t mean that all things will work out the way we want them to. And sometimes it's so difficult to see the good in certain situations... but of course we have such a limited view whereas God sees the complete picture. How wonderful it is then, to know that our all-powerful, ever-present, all-knowing, incredibly loving Father is in charge at all times and we can rest assured that no matter what happens, it is for God's glory and His good purpose! I was also reminded reading through John 7 (verse 6-7) the other day that God sets a time for everything too. Sometimes things don't work out and it really confuses us, but maybe it's just not the right time. I have a bit of a motto/life statement that I wrote on the front of my Bible: "According to His will, by His grace, in His timing, for His glory."

Of course, the challenge for me is to continuously surrender every aspect of my life to Him - not to try to plan things or manipulate things or question things by my standards, but to seek His will and trust always that my Father knows best and has the best way for me. The more I get to know God, the more I learn about His character and the more I trust Him with everything. Our faith is a journey and by God's grace and the transforming work of His Spirit, I am and we are constantly being refined and conformed to the image of Christ, to be perfected only when He comes back! I love God's promise to us to do this in Phil 1:6. I actually wrote about this almost two years ago (Blog Post: P is for Perseverance of the Saints) if you're interested in reading it.

Discerning God's Will

Being in my last year at uni ever (for the second time...) I have been listening to some sermons on and reading about discerning God's will and making decisions. Here are some notes:

From a Campus Crusade for Christ conference series.

Right decisions come from right perspectives.

How did God guide his people in the past: Spoke audibly, dreams, visions, angels, spiritual leader: prophets to speak to kings etc., servants of God saw a need and took action. Many different ways.

#1. Don't ask "what is God's will for my life?" - this is inherently self-centred. Ask "HOW DOES MY LIFE FIT INTO GOD'S WILL?" Be a good steward of the life He has given you, take part in what He is doing all over the world. Happiness will follow =)

#2. Pray. Grow in Wisdom slowly as you begin to see God's will revealed in His scriptures. Pray "Lord, would you direct me to specific scriptures that will help me discern your will?"

#3. Signs are HELPFUL but NOT AUTHORITATIVE.
-Peace: Is it from God or my desire to have less hassles?
-Impressions: ASK "Is this God's voice I'm hearing or is it my inner desire?" - TEST IT: against the Scriptures. If it doesn't fit, it's not from Him. TEST IT: against WISE counsel.
-Circumstances: Is this closed door REALLY a closed door or is it an opportunity to trust Him more and bring Him MORE glory? Red Sea: considerable closed door, no? No! OPPORTUNITY TO BRING HIM THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF GLORY! Ask, "Lord, do you want me to go even when others will oppose me?"
-Look for the "calm, inward, persistent sense that you should go."
Use your SANCTIFIED, SOUND MIND: Let the Spirit of God work through the Word of God to your mind. ASK: Who am I? How has God created me? What are my gifts and strengths? What are the needs around the world? How do I fit in?


From "Right People, Right Place, Right Plan: Discerning the Voice of God" by Jentezen Franklin

God made you in His image. You don’t need to try to be somebody you’re not because what God wants is you and all of you. With the fall, mankind went from speaking with God in the garden to being afraid of His voice. NO! You must hear Him! You must be familiar with His voice and recognise His voice!

God made you extraordinary and He desires to use you in extraordinary ways. He's given all believers the extraordinary gift of an internal compass to guide and discern things about the people around us, our careers, our finances, etc. This discernment is not from human wisdom; it is from God.

1 John 2:20 says “but you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth” (NIV).

All believers have an anointing, a spiritual touch of God, that provides them with remarkable insight. Through the Holy Spirit, from whom flows all the gifts, graces, and superior knowledge of God, you have inside information on what God’s will is.

Proverbs 3:6 says “in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (NIV).

Our part is to acknowledge Him and God’s part is to direct us. Pray about things, include Him in everything and wait for Him. When you have God’s approval on your decisions, He will provide everything. For every vision, He has made provision! If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it! If it’s God’s will, it’s God’s bill! What God initiates, He will orchestrate!

The author is, and now I am, convinced that the gift of discernment is a gift God gives to all believers. Makes sense! We all have His Spirit and His Spirit communicates to us. How wonderful it is that God lives inside us! Are you getting how BIG this is? God knows everything and He lets us in on it! The Spirit speaks to us and we gain insight into situations, people, difficult Biblical concepts... anything and everything... so that we may be able to make good decisions, provide wise counsel, see truth and generally speak and act in a manner that is holy and pleasing to God and that glorifies Him! Our awesome God is omniscient and He is not absent... He is alive and He communicates to us, so we need to listen.

"The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name... and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice." - John 10:3-4

Keep running to God, keep delighting in Him and spending time with Him because the more time we spend with Him and the better we know Him, the better we can recognise and hear His voice. We need to be able to tell His voice apart from that of our own, the people around us and even the devil so that we may follow God's voice to the right path. Recognising, hearing and obeying God's voice is so important and so powerful! We have this amazing amazing privilege - let's use it and glorify God!

Are You (Still) Growing, Spiritually?

So I just got back from MYC and basically, it was off the hook (off the hook, off the hook, off the hook!) While the conference is always a great time of revelation and spiritual feeding for me, this year was especially special. I thought I would share with you the experiences and lessons I got from it. My prayer is that it will bless your walk with God and spur you on in your own journey of Spiritual Growth.

I'll try to make this short(er than is characteristic of my writing). Basically, on one of the nights, God performed spiritual open heart surgery on me and His Spirit convicted me of neglecting my relationship with the Lord. I had been so busy doing things and crossing off lists and going through the motions that I actually forgot about spending time with the one I love. But God is ever merciful and His abundant grace overwhelms my brokenness, so I will rejoice in my salvation! But I want to move forward and put this lesson into action. Now that the problem has been diagnosed, let's get right onto the remedy.

Here are the lessons I learnt from John North's 5 MYC talks, in a nutshell:

Talk #1: The first step of Spiritual Growth is TOTAL COMMITMENT to the leadership of Jesus Christ in your life. - Luke 9:23
1. Deny yourself.
2. Take up your cross daily.
3. Follow Jesus.

Talk #2: Embrace kingdom values and you will naturally bear fruit.
1. Spiritual things are more important than material things.
2. God's desires are more important than your desires.
3. God's work is more important than your work (or fun).
4. Godly character is more important than personal comfort.
5. Love for God is more important than love for yourself (or others).

Talk #3: You are in Spiritual battle and must fight.
1. Identify the enemy: the devil, the world, your own sinful nature.
2. Understand the battleground: IT IS YOUR MIND! (Rom 12:2, 2 Cor 10:3-5, Eph 4:22-24, Phil 4:8, Col 3:1-2).
3. Do battle: pray, have Quiet Times, read and mark your Bible, memorise Scripture, journal, fellowship. Intellect, personality, willpower and organisation are table knives that don't get the job done. Get out your swords! Put on the armour of God!

Talk #4: Everything about Spiritual Growth is about your relationship with God.
All of your Christianity must be relational:
1. Relational Faith: KNOW GOD, know WHOM you believe (not what you believe), have a personal trust.
2. Relational Commitment: Talk to the one you love. Spend time with the one you love.
3. Relational Prayer: Real, conversational, constant.
4. Relational Quiet Times: Interactive, not legalistic. Let Him speak to you! Don't have QTs because you feel like you should, have QTs because you need to feed yourself!
5. Relational View of Sin and Repentance: Sinning is not "I failed, I suck" - it is "I HURT THE ONE I LOVE." Repentance is making up with Him - reconciliation.
6. Relational Worship: "You need to know God in a deeper way. The more you know Him, the more you will love Him. The more you love Him, the more you will glorify Him. The more you know and love and glorify Him, the more you will thirst to know Him even more" (from John North's new book, GrowthWorks).

Talk #5: It's all about God. YOU EXIST FOR GOD.
1. Your first priority in life is Spiritual Growth: your relationship with God.
2. Your ultimate purpose in life is to do good works, to be sent out, to play a part in God's plan.
3. Filter everything that comes your way in the grid of your sent-ness, just as Jesus did. You have personally been sent out by God as an ambassador for Christ into your relationship circles. Say, "yes, Lord" and be available for God to use you in the incredible story He has penned!

♥

Spiritual Growth is "moving consistently into a deeper love relationship with God, bringing Him greater glory, and more naturally expressing Jesus' chracter and life, through the work of the Spirit" (from John North's GrowthWorks). It is a PROCESS that takes time. Start now! Be "like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither" (Psalm 1:3)




Use this picture to help you lock in the principles. Again, it's from GrowthWorks. Seriously, just grab yourself a copy. It'll be the best $25 you ever spend at Koorong (after an ESV Bible).

Enjoy the journey of walking with our beautiful God!

Come and Dance (Song Lyrics)

In the darkness, You are with me
Inviting me to dance in the light, dance in the light
Your power and love have rescued me
Made me whole and set me free
I'm secure in Your arms, Your might

Ooooh, the thrill of Your peace!
Ooooh, the joy of Your love!
Ooooh, I delight in You
I'm in love with You O My God above!

I will take Your hand! I will take Your hand!
I will come and dance! I will come and dance!
Leave it all behind: all my fears and hurts,
All my treasured gains: I will count as dirt!

In my weakness, You are still here
Inviting me to sit at Your feet, look up at Your face
Your gentleness wipes away my tear,
Dries my eyes to see You clear
I'm restored by Your mercy, by Your grace

I will take Your hand! I will take Your hand!
I will come and dance! I will come and dance!
I will let it go - cause of what You're worth!
It surpasses all the Earth!

Fall on me!
Lord, I will follow You
Lord, would You fall on me
That I may follow You?

Call for me and I'll take Your hand
Call for me and I'll come and dance!
Call for me cause all I want is You!