[BGR] Because God Reigns, Bring Glory in Relationships

Earlier in the year, I was present for relationships talks at both Student Life and Blue Sky. Since entering into a relationship a month ago, I've been listening to a few other talks from conferences and other churches. Here are some notes I hope will be helpful to you.

♥ MYTHBUSTERS ♥

1. It's better to try before you buy; you don't know if you're compatible till you live together. FALSE! 76% of Aussies live together outside of marriage. Only 2% of them are still living together after 10 years. Of the 46% who go on to marry, the break up rate is twice that of those who do not live together first before marriage.

2. You shouldn't get married until you are wealthy and can afford it. FALSE! The Lord will provide! If God brings you to it, God will bring you through it.

3. When you fall out of love, your relationship falls apart. FALSE! You *will* fall out of 'love'. Relationships take work and commitment - rekindle the romance! It's not just love that keeps a marriage going, it's marriage that keeps love going!

4. Women gain most from a marriage. FALSE! Men who get married grow up faster, have better health and live longer.

5. Men resist marriage more than women. This one is TRUE! The current median age for first-time marriage is 29.6 years (men) and 27.6 years (women).

6. Intelligence, beauty, character and money will bring success in relationship. FALSE! The key is to have CHRIST at the centre, commitment, communication & passion.

How do you have love that lasts a lifetime? Have God in it! The things that are of God last because He is everlasting! Work on Spiritual intimacy. Be quick to listen and slow to speak (James).


♥ DATING DANGERS ♥

1. Giving ourselves emotionally to the other person.
2. Giving ourselves physically to the other person.
3. Awakening desires before they can be righteously satisfied.
4. Investing too much into the other person.
5. Holding tightly to the relationship.
6. Taking ownership of the other person.
7. Fantasising about the other person or being unable to stop thinking about them.
8. Holding the other person on a pedestal or not seeing them as they are.

Relationships are good when God leads you to them. It is a gift from Him. Receive it with open hands - and keep them open for God to take back whenever He wants for He will give and take away as He pleases according to His good purpose for the good of those who love Him.

Dating / courtship can be a great time of purposefully and prayerfully getting to know someone and working on making the second most important decision in your life (after deciding to follow Christ!) of "could I, should I, do I want to marry this person? Is this what God has led me to do?"

In marriage, there is passionate love, companionship love and covenantal love that are like three separate petrol tanks that need to be filled to keep things running. It takes work and even passionate love needs refueling in marriage even if it seemed dangerously full before that. In courtship, pursue purity and focus on companionship love, on getting to know one another and on team-building. But until marriage, there is no covenant before God so where you are emotionally needs to stay in line with your level of commitment. Your relationship needs to be on the altar always.

You do not choose a life partner. It is not your decision to make because you are not capable of it! It is God's decision who He will team you up with. Read on...


♥ GOD'S BEST ♥

God is love and love gives. God just gives and gives. He wants to give to YOU. Do you trust Him to do that? To give you bountiful relationships with other people and with your life partner? Do you want God's best and not what you think is best for you?

When you're following God's plans, you can actually say to God "OK, God, what are you going to do about this situation/issue? You called me, you brought me here, I need you to show me the next steps." This is the way it should be. Not struggling and stressing trying to make our own way, but following God's plan in His peace by His provision.

The world will tell you that physical attraction is the most important thing... then you can see if there's the emotional and if at all possible some kind of spiritual connection. But God's ways are not the world's ways. He will ensure that you and your partner have a spiritual union (if it's not there, it's not for God). He will provide emotional connection so you can be compatible. Physical attraction may come later. If it is there from the start, guard your heart and preserve purity. Pursue holiness! Don't be about "how close can I get to the 'Don't-Have-Sex-Before-Marriage' line?" - be about "how God-honouring can this get?" Run from the line. Pursue purity. You have a sinful nature and cannot trust yourself. Have accountability partners.

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. - Romans 7:19

So keep seeking God. Keep pursuing Him. Surrender everything to Him. He knows you intimately well and will give you the desires of your heart according to His will for His good purpose in His perfect timing. PRAY. If you're serious about this, wrestle with God about wanting His blessing (like Jacob), about wanting to see Him work in your life.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. - Matthew 6:33

Listen. Trust. Obey.

Out of obedience, you will get awesome testimonies that will be used to touch others and bring God glory. God wants you to have an amazing story to tell, to have a life that is radically set apart. Will you trust Him to write it?

None Like You

God Almighty
Who is like You?
You reign above
You rain down love
You make us whole and new

Father of grace
Who is like You?
So wonderful
So powerful
So beautiful and true

Glorious Master
Who is like You?
Magnificent
Effulgent
Your splendour's in plain view

My Lord, dear Friend
Who is like You?
The song I sing
My everything
I know there's none like You

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Another response to the boy's Weekly Wanderings, written right after the Rice Regenerate Rally: GLORY!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? ... I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:35, 38-39

Wow... God's love is better than life (Psalm 63:3, Newsboys) and nothing at all can separate us from this love (above verse)! I was reminded of something I used to think to myself which should be even truer now and which I hope I can say and mean wholeheartedly. Why am I happy? Because the most precious thing I have can never be taken away from me. Even if all my money gets stolen, even if my house burns down, even if my friends and family die... God remains. My portion is Him and I'm more than blessed.

We were created to glorify God, to delight in Him, to be in a relationship with Him. Since we know that God loves us, what more could we want? What could top that? There is nothing in life as sweet as God's grace, nothing as precious as His blood, nothing as wonderful as His love, nothing anywhere near as beautiful as Him. Just to love God and to know that God loves us... isn't that the greatest thing? His love is better than life!

Here's a clip of John Piper fighting the 'prosperity gospel' which I think is where the quote "God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him" is from. Of course he's not saying that God wants us to have miserable lives just of suffering but that God is God and we need to praise Him in all circumstances, because He is God. And God is enough.

I pray you would see more and more of God's glory and encourage each other to continually surrender everything to Him, because His love is better than life.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." - Rev 1:8

For the good of those who love Him

My very significant other sends out an email to his friends and family each week, telling them about what God has shown and taught him that week. I have started replying to his Weekly Wanderings since we began courtshipping but thought I would also share it with you, minus our personal stuff, with the hope of encouraging you too.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified” – Romans 8:28-30 (NIV)

It's amazing and reassuring that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose. It doesn’t mean that all things will work out the way we want them to. And sometimes it's so difficult to see the good in certain situations... but of course we have such a limited view whereas God sees the complete picture. How wonderful it is then, to know that our all-powerful, ever-present, all-knowing, incredibly loving Father is in charge at all times and we can rest assured that no matter what happens, it is for God's glory and His good purpose! I was also reminded reading through John 7 (verse 6-7) the other day that God sets a time for everything too. Sometimes things don't work out and it really confuses us, but maybe it's just not the right time. I have a bit of a motto/life statement that I wrote on the front of my Bible: "According to His will, by His grace, in His timing, for His glory."

Of course, the challenge for me is to continuously surrender every aspect of my life to Him - not to try to plan things or manipulate things or question things by my standards, but to seek His will and trust always that my Father knows best and has the best way for me. The more I get to know God, the more I learn about His character and the more I trust Him with everything. Our faith is a journey and by God's grace and the transforming work of His Spirit, I am and we are constantly being refined and conformed to the image of Christ, to be perfected only when He comes back! I love God's promise to us to do this in Phil 1:6. I actually wrote about this almost two years ago (Blog Post: P is for Perseverance of the Saints) if you're interested in reading it.