[BGR] Because God Reigns, Bring Glory in Relationships

Earlier in the year, I was present for relationships talks at both Student Life and Blue Sky. Since entering into a relationship a month ago, I've been listening to a few other talks from conferences and other churches. Here are some notes I hope will be helpful to you.

♥ MYTHBUSTERS ♥

1. It's better to try before you buy; you don't know if you're compatible till you live together. FALSE! 76% of Aussies live together outside of marriage. Only 2% of them are still living together after 10 years. Of the 46% who go on to marry, the break up rate is twice that of those who do not live together first before marriage.

2. You shouldn't get married until you are wealthy and can afford it. FALSE! The Lord will provide! If God brings you to it, God will bring you through it.

3. When you fall out of love, your relationship falls apart. FALSE! You *will* fall out of 'love'. Relationships take work and commitment - rekindle the romance! It's not just love that keeps a marriage going, it's marriage that keeps love going!

4. Women gain most from a marriage. FALSE! Men who get married grow up faster, have better health and live longer.

5. Men resist marriage more than women. This one is TRUE! The current median age for first-time marriage is 29.6 years (men) and 27.6 years (women).

6. Intelligence, beauty, character and money will bring success in relationship. FALSE! The key is to have CHRIST at the centre, commitment, communication & passion.

How do you have love that lasts a lifetime? Have God in it! The things that are of God last because He is everlasting! Work on Spiritual intimacy. Be quick to listen and slow to speak (James).


♥ DATING DANGERS ♥

1. Giving ourselves emotionally to the other person.
2. Giving ourselves physically to the other person.
3. Awakening desires before they can be righteously satisfied.
4. Investing too much into the other person.
5. Holding tightly to the relationship.
6. Taking ownership of the other person.
7. Fantasising about the other person or being unable to stop thinking about them.
8. Holding the other person on a pedestal or not seeing them as they are.

Relationships are good when God leads you to them. It is a gift from Him. Receive it with open hands - and keep them open for God to take back whenever He wants for He will give and take away as He pleases according to His good purpose for the good of those who love Him.

Dating / courtship can be a great time of purposefully and prayerfully getting to know someone and working on making the second most important decision in your life (after deciding to follow Christ!) of "could I, should I, do I want to marry this person? Is this what God has led me to do?"

In marriage, there is passionate love, companionship love and covenantal love that are like three separate petrol tanks that need to be filled to keep things running. It takes work and even passionate love needs refueling in marriage even if it seemed dangerously full before that. In courtship, pursue purity and focus on companionship love, on getting to know one another and on team-building. But until marriage, there is no covenant before God so where you are emotionally needs to stay in line with your level of commitment. Your relationship needs to be on the altar always.

You do not choose a life partner. It is not your decision to make because you are not capable of it! It is God's decision who He will team you up with. Read on...


♥ GOD'S BEST ♥

God is love and love gives. God just gives and gives. He wants to give to YOU. Do you trust Him to do that? To give you bountiful relationships with other people and with your life partner? Do you want God's best and not what you think is best for you?

When you're following God's plans, you can actually say to God "OK, God, what are you going to do about this situation/issue? You called me, you brought me here, I need you to show me the next steps." This is the way it should be. Not struggling and stressing trying to make our own way, but following God's plan in His peace by His provision.

The world will tell you that physical attraction is the most important thing... then you can see if there's the emotional and if at all possible some kind of spiritual connection. But God's ways are not the world's ways. He will ensure that you and your partner have a spiritual union (if it's not there, it's not for God). He will provide emotional connection so you can be compatible. Physical attraction may come later. If it is there from the start, guard your heart and preserve purity. Pursue holiness! Don't be about "how close can I get to the 'Don't-Have-Sex-Before-Marriage' line?" - be about "how God-honouring can this get?" Run from the line. Pursue purity. You have a sinful nature and cannot trust yourself. Have accountability partners.

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. - Romans 7:19

So keep seeking God. Keep pursuing Him. Surrender everything to Him. He knows you intimately well and will give you the desires of your heart according to His will for His good purpose in His perfect timing. PRAY. If you're serious about this, wrestle with God about wanting His blessing (like Jacob), about wanting to see Him work in your life.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. - Matthew 6:33

Listen. Trust. Obey.

Out of obedience, you will get awesome testimonies that will be used to touch others and bring God glory. God wants you to have an amazing story to tell, to have a life that is radically set apart. Will you trust Him to write it?

None Like You

God Almighty
Who is like You?
You reign above
You rain down love
You make us whole and new

Father of grace
Who is like You?
So wonderful
So powerful
So beautiful and true

Glorious Master
Who is like You?
Magnificent
Effulgent
Your splendour's in plain view

My Lord, dear Friend
Who is like You?
The song I sing
My everything
I know there's none like You

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Another response to the boy's Weekly Wanderings, written right after the Rice Regenerate Rally: GLORY!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? ... I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:35, 38-39

Wow... God's love is better than life (Psalm 63:3, Newsboys) and nothing at all can separate us from this love (above verse)! I was reminded of something I used to think to myself which should be even truer now and which I hope I can say and mean wholeheartedly. Why am I happy? Because the most precious thing I have can never be taken away from me. Even if all my money gets stolen, even if my house burns down, even if my friends and family die... God remains. My portion is Him and I'm more than blessed.

We were created to glorify God, to delight in Him, to be in a relationship with Him. Since we know that God loves us, what more could we want? What could top that? There is nothing in life as sweet as God's grace, nothing as precious as His blood, nothing as wonderful as His love, nothing anywhere near as beautiful as Him. Just to love God and to know that God loves us... isn't that the greatest thing? His love is better than life!

Here's a clip of John Piper fighting the 'prosperity gospel' which I think is where the quote "God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him" is from. Of course he's not saying that God wants us to have miserable lives just of suffering but that God is God and we need to praise Him in all circumstances, because He is God. And God is enough.

I pray you would see more and more of God's glory and encourage each other to continually surrender everything to Him, because His love is better than life.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." - Rev 1:8

For the good of those who love Him

My very significant other sends out an email to his friends and family each week, telling them about what God has shown and taught him that week. I have started replying to his Weekly Wanderings since we began courtshipping but thought I would also share it with you, minus our personal stuff, with the hope of encouraging you too.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified” – Romans 8:28-30 (NIV)

It's amazing and reassuring that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose. It doesn’t mean that all things will work out the way we want them to. And sometimes it's so difficult to see the good in certain situations... but of course we have such a limited view whereas God sees the complete picture. How wonderful it is then, to know that our all-powerful, ever-present, all-knowing, incredibly loving Father is in charge at all times and we can rest assured that no matter what happens, it is for God's glory and His good purpose! I was also reminded reading through John 7 (verse 6-7) the other day that God sets a time for everything too. Sometimes things don't work out and it really confuses us, but maybe it's just not the right time. I have a bit of a motto/life statement that I wrote on the front of my Bible: "According to His will, by His grace, in His timing, for His glory."

Of course, the challenge for me is to continuously surrender every aspect of my life to Him - not to try to plan things or manipulate things or question things by my standards, but to seek His will and trust always that my Father knows best and has the best way for me. The more I get to know God, the more I learn about His character and the more I trust Him with everything. Our faith is a journey and by God's grace and the transforming work of His Spirit, I am and we are constantly being refined and conformed to the image of Christ, to be perfected only when He comes back! I love God's promise to us to do this in Phil 1:6. I actually wrote about this almost two years ago (Blog Post: P is for Perseverance of the Saints) if you're interested in reading it.

Discerning God's Will

Being in my last year at uni ever (for the second time...) I have been listening to some sermons on and reading about discerning God's will and making decisions. Here are some notes:

From a Campus Crusade for Christ conference series.

Right decisions come from right perspectives.

How did God guide his people in the past: Spoke audibly, dreams, visions, angels, spiritual leader: prophets to speak to kings etc., servants of God saw a need and took action. Many different ways.

#1. Don't ask "what is God's will for my life?" - this is inherently self-centred. Ask "HOW DOES MY LIFE FIT INTO GOD'S WILL?" Be a good steward of the life He has given you, take part in what He is doing all over the world. Happiness will follow =)

#2. Pray. Grow in Wisdom slowly as you begin to see God's will revealed in His scriptures. Pray "Lord, would you direct me to specific scriptures that will help me discern your will?"

#3. Signs are HELPFUL but NOT AUTHORITATIVE.
-Peace: Is it from God or my desire to have less hassles?
-Impressions: ASK "Is this God's voice I'm hearing or is it my inner desire?" - TEST IT: against the Scriptures. If it doesn't fit, it's not from Him. TEST IT: against WISE counsel.
-Circumstances: Is this closed door REALLY a closed door or is it an opportunity to trust Him more and bring Him MORE glory? Red Sea: considerable closed door, no? No! OPPORTUNITY TO BRING HIM THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF GLORY! Ask, "Lord, do you want me to go even when others will oppose me?"
-Look for the "calm, inward, persistent sense that you should go."
Use your SANCTIFIED, SOUND MIND: Let the Spirit of God work through the Word of God to your mind. ASK: Who am I? How has God created me? What are my gifts and strengths? What are the needs around the world? How do I fit in?


From "Right People, Right Place, Right Plan: Discerning the Voice of God" by Jentezen Franklin

God made you in His image. You don’t need to try to be somebody you’re not because what God wants is you and all of you. With the fall, mankind went from speaking with God in the garden to being afraid of His voice. NO! You must hear Him! You must be familiar with His voice and recognise His voice!

God made you extraordinary and He desires to use you in extraordinary ways. He's given all believers the extraordinary gift of an internal compass to guide and discern things about the people around us, our careers, our finances, etc. This discernment is not from human wisdom; it is from God.

1 John 2:20 says “but you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth” (NIV).

All believers have an anointing, a spiritual touch of God, that provides them with remarkable insight. Through the Holy Spirit, from whom flows all the gifts, graces, and superior knowledge of God, you have inside information on what God’s will is.

Proverbs 3:6 says “in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (NIV).

Our part is to acknowledge Him and God’s part is to direct us. Pray about things, include Him in everything and wait for Him. When you have God’s approval on your decisions, He will provide everything. For every vision, He has made provision! If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it! If it’s God’s will, it’s God’s bill! What God initiates, He will orchestrate!

The author is, and now I am, convinced that the gift of discernment is a gift God gives to all believers. Makes sense! We all have His Spirit and His Spirit communicates to us. How wonderful it is that God lives inside us! Are you getting how BIG this is? God knows everything and He lets us in on it! The Spirit speaks to us and we gain insight into situations, people, difficult Biblical concepts... anything and everything... so that we may be able to make good decisions, provide wise counsel, see truth and generally speak and act in a manner that is holy and pleasing to God and that glorifies Him! Our awesome God is omniscient and He is not absent... He is alive and He communicates to us, so we need to listen.

"The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name... and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice." - John 10:3-4

Keep running to God, keep delighting in Him and spending time with Him because the more time we spend with Him and the better we know Him, the better we can recognise and hear His voice. We need to be able to tell His voice apart from that of our own, the people around us and even the devil so that we may follow God's voice to the right path. Recognising, hearing and obeying God's voice is so important and so powerful! We have this amazing amazing privilege - let's use it and glorify God!

Are You (Still) Growing, Spiritually?

So I just got back from MYC and basically, it was off the hook (off the hook, off the hook, off the hook!) While the conference is always a great time of revelation and spiritual feeding for me, this year was especially special. I thought I would share with you the experiences and lessons I got from it. My prayer is that it will bless your walk with God and spur you on in your own journey of Spiritual Growth.

I'll try to make this short(er than is characteristic of my writing). Basically, on one of the nights, God performed spiritual open heart surgery on me and His Spirit convicted me of neglecting my relationship with the Lord. I had been so busy doing things and crossing off lists and going through the motions that I actually forgot about spending time with the one I love. But God is ever merciful and His abundant grace overwhelms my brokenness, so I will rejoice in my salvation! But I want to move forward and put this lesson into action. Now that the problem has been diagnosed, let's get right onto the remedy.

Here are the lessons I learnt from John North's 5 MYC talks, in a nutshell:

Talk #1: The first step of Spiritual Growth is TOTAL COMMITMENT to the leadership of Jesus Christ in your life. - Luke 9:23
1. Deny yourself.
2. Take up your cross daily.
3. Follow Jesus.

Talk #2: Embrace kingdom values and you will naturally bear fruit.
1. Spiritual things are more important than material things.
2. God's desires are more important than your desires.
3. God's work is more important than your work (or fun).
4. Godly character is more important than personal comfort.
5. Love for God is more important than love for yourself (or others).

Talk #3: You are in Spiritual battle and must fight.
1. Identify the enemy: the devil, the world, your own sinful nature.
2. Understand the battleground: IT IS YOUR MIND! (Rom 12:2, 2 Cor 10:3-5, Eph 4:22-24, Phil 4:8, Col 3:1-2).
3. Do battle: pray, have Quiet Times, read and mark your Bible, memorise Scripture, journal, fellowship. Intellect, personality, willpower and organisation are table knives that don't get the job done. Get out your swords! Put on the armour of God!

Talk #4: Everything about Spiritual Growth is about your relationship with God.
All of your Christianity must be relational:
1. Relational Faith: KNOW GOD, know WHOM you believe (not what you believe), have a personal trust.
2. Relational Commitment: Talk to the one you love. Spend time with the one you love.
3. Relational Prayer: Real, conversational, constant.
4. Relational Quiet Times: Interactive, not legalistic. Let Him speak to you! Don't have QTs because you feel like you should, have QTs because you need to feed yourself!
5. Relational View of Sin and Repentance: Sinning is not "I failed, I suck" - it is "I HURT THE ONE I LOVE." Repentance is making up with Him - reconciliation.
6. Relational Worship: "You need to know God in a deeper way. The more you know Him, the more you will love Him. The more you love Him, the more you will glorify Him. The more you know and love and glorify Him, the more you will thirst to know Him even more" (from John North's new book, GrowthWorks).

Talk #5: It's all about God. YOU EXIST FOR GOD.
1. Your first priority in life is Spiritual Growth: your relationship with God.
2. Your ultimate purpose in life is to do good works, to be sent out, to play a part in God's plan.
3. Filter everything that comes your way in the grid of your sent-ness, just as Jesus did. You have personally been sent out by God as an ambassador for Christ into your relationship circles. Say, "yes, Lord" and be available for God to use you in the incredible story He has penned!

♥

Spiritual Growth is "moving consistently into a deeper love relationship with God, bringing Him greater glory, and more naturally expressing Jesus' chracter and life, through the work of the Spirit" (from John North's GrowthWorks). It is a PROCESS that takes time. Start now! Be "like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither" (Psalm 1:3)




Use this picture to help you lock in the principles. Again, it's from GrowthWorks. Seriously, just grab yourself a copy. It'll be the best $25 you ever spend at Koorong (after an ESV Bible).

Enjoy the journey of walking with our beautiful God!

Come and Dance (Song Lyrics)

In the darkness, You are with me
Inviting me to dance in the light, dance in the light
Your power and love have rescued me
Made me whole and set me free
I'm secure in Your arms, Your might

Ooooh, the thrill of Your peace!
Ooooh, the joy of Your love!
Ooooh, I delight in You
I'm in love with You O My God above!

I will take Your hand! I will take Your hand!
I will come and dance! I will come and dance!
Leave it all behind: all my fears and hurts,
All my treasured gains: I will count as dirt!

In my weakness, You are still here
Inviting me to sit at Your feet, look up at Your face
Your gentleness wipes away my tear,
Dries my eyes to see You clear
I'm restored by Your mercy, by Your grace

I will take Your hand! I will take Your hand!
I will come and dance! I will come and dance!
I will let it go - cause of what You're worth!
It surpasses all the Earth!

Fall on me!
Lord, I will follow You
Lord, would You fall on me
That I may follow You?

Call for me and I'll take Your hand
Call for me and I'll come and dance!
Call for me cause all I want is You!

Everytime (Song Lyrics)

Every time I stumble,
I pray that Your grace would bring me back in
Every time I walk away from You,
I pray that You would destroy my sin

Lord God, You are holy
Lord God, You hold me
And in Your presence I am free!

Every time I sing out Your praise
May Your Spirit move in me
May I glorify You for all my days
And forever claim Your victory!

Lord God, You are holy
Lord God, You hold me
And in Your presence I am free!

Thank you for the cross
That changed me from the inside out
Thank you for your love
That showed me what this life's about

Lord God, You are holy
Lord God, You hold me
And in Your presence I am free!

Everytime I doubt or fear
May You be my strength and my song
Everpresent God I know that You are here
It's to You that I belong!

Lord God, You are holy
Lord God, You hold me
And in Your presence I am free!

Glorious are You, God almighty
Victorious am I, Christ in me

Christ In Me - the Hope of Glory

Let me tell you how AWESOME, how AMAZING, how INCREDIBLE and LOVING God is!

So yesterday I was very upset and the word a friend gave me was "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning" which is from Psalm 30:5 (NIV). I didn't really feel that when I woke up this morning but I just ... See moregave it to God and prayed He would make it a reality and I would delight in Him.

I hadn't really prepared for Sunday School this morning because I was too busy being upset last night. But the pastor shared a little something with the kids about being right with God, so I ended up doing that lesson which happened to be in the book of lessons I had with me. I was going through Romans 5:1-11 with the kids and the passage really spoke to me - it was a little love note from God to me! Verses 2-5 in the International Children's Bible says: "Through our faith, Christ has brought us into that blessing of God's grace that we now enjoy. And we are happy because of the hope we have of sharing God's glory. And we also have joy with our troubles because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. God gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us."

Amen! What reason we have to rejoice, even in suffering! How wonderful it is to be a child of God! Christ in us - the hope of glory!

But wait - there's more (because God is just so lovely and He pours out His blessings upon us)! Lately I have been feeling pretty useless evangelism-wise, like I'm not making a difference. But on the bus I happened to sit next to a woman (who has had a really tough life) and I was able to share my faith and the gospel with her! She used to be a drug addict and now wants to get straight so I shared 2 Corinthians 5:17 with her and told her that she can be set free and made new in Christ. She said that she's done some horrible things in her life and didn't think she could be forgiven but I said that Jesus has paid for her sins and there is now no condemnation for her if she is in Him (Romans 8:1). Oh to see the glimmer of hope it brought to her eyes! We swapped numbers and she wants to come to church next week!

Praise God for He is so loving! Praise God for He is faithful! Praise God for using me even at my weakest! Oh the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord!! Nothing on earth is as beautiful as Him! In this world we will have tribulation but He has overcome the world (John 16:33)! His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9)! Slowly but surely God's Spirit is transforming me and I can decrease that He may increase and shine out of me to speak into people's lives!

Christ in me - the hope of Glory!! =D

♥

What Easter Means to Me

Let me declare

In deserts bare
In cities everywhere

What God has done
Through His Good Son
That you may be aware

Let me be clear
So your ears hear
So your eyes would perceive

And your heart bend
To comprehend
So that you may believe

The breadth and length
height, depth and strength
of God's love for mankind

Which He has shown
And has made known
So His right path you'd find

Lost I once was
Deceived by laws
I followed my own way

Thinking I'd skate
to Heaven's gate
Though sin led me astray

But God reached out
I have no doubt
Of His good Will and Plans

My God knows best
In Him I rest
Secure, safe in His hands

My life has changed
My God arranged
A Reconciliation

My sins atoned
Through Christ alone
I am a new creation

Up on that tree
Christ set me free
From sin and desolation

He offers me
Eternity
A new path of salvation

Oh, glorious!
Victorious!
I will not be ashamed!

Christ's love compels
In me He dwells
I'm righteous in His Name!

He refines me
He defines me
and guides me to the place

Where I'm made whole
Heart, mind and soul
Now transformed by His grace

And I will praise
All of the ways
He works in this love story

I'll walk with Him
All else will dim
As I bask in His glory

All this I share
'Cause it's my prayer
That You would know God too!

Turn to Him now
And just allow
His Love to flood through you

So see the light
And know the might
Of your all-Sovereign King

And then you'll stand
On fertile land
If to the truth you cling

Grace heaven-sent
Helps you repent
There's nothing else as sweet

As Knowing Him,
Walking with Him-
In God you are complete!

Now that you're found
Blessings abound
His goodness, mercy rife

With Christ as Lord
You are restored
To everlasting life

Let Me Never Tire of Your Gospel

Let me never tire of Your gospel
And the power it has to save
For it has brought me from death to life
A righteous way it's paved

What Jesus did up on that cross
Forever will remain
The greatest thing that ever was
For sin was that day slain

A father's love so deep and sure
Reached out to children lost
We're reconciled, redeemed, restored
by Him who paid the cost

We cannot work our way to Heaven
Deserved or earned - it's not
It is a gift that's freely given
God's grace cannot be bought

But in its abundance we may live
In the spirit of submission
For all we need He lovingly gives
Praise God for His provision!

To do good and to be joyful
There's none better, I perceive
Save to praise God the beautiful
Through whom I have all things received

Glad Is My Heart

Glad is my heart, Lord
joyful and wild
Oh, all the wonders
of being your child!

You open my eyelids
and cause me to smile
a whispered "good morning"
lingers for a while

You've painted a sunrise!
Oh glorious day!
My spirit is lively
as I start to pray

Your presence engulfs me,
the thrill of your peace!
You know me; transform me
that You may increase

Almighty Creator
My Friend and my Father
My Rock and Redeemer
My Lord and my Lover

My God and my Guidance
My Power and Portion
My Light and my Reason
My only Salvation

Your joy is my strength
your delight is my song
My freedom is in you
to You I belong

Lead me to your path, Lord
and teach me your ways
that I would walk with you
for all of my days

Heavenly Romance

There's a song in my heart
a joy so deep
that will never depart
for my life He keeps

The melody's sweet
for I've found true love
and my heart now beats
for my God above

O heavenly romance
a love so pure
it's a glorious dance
that will always endure

O sweet embrace
O wonderful mercy
O abundant grace
that has made me see

No darkness - He's light!
No chaos - He's peace!
His power and might
brings me to my knees

At His feet I will worship
sing, O my soul
His love and his Lordship
have made me whole

Run to You

(inspired by Psalm 1)

Let me not in the seat of scoffers sit
Let me not in the way of sinners stand
Let me not in the wicked counsel walk
Lord, let me reverently fear Your mighty hand

Let me not be deceived by this world
Let me not get caught in its cares and snares
Let me not be blinded by its riches
For to the treasures of God nothing compares

Let me always sit humbly in Your presence
Let me always stand in the truth You've shown
Let me always walk the righteous path You lead
Lord, let me always run to You alone